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VENO tv: FROM THE PULPIT SERMON ON THE MOUNT COUNTING THE COST SERIES: THE MARRIAGE ESTATE — PART 2
Date: 20-08-26

By Ladi Ayodeji

Marriage requires more than love and attraction. It demands spiritual guidance, preparation, faithfulness, financial responsibility, patience and a willingness by husband and wife to understand their biblical responsibilities.

Continuing his “Counting the Cost — The Marriage Estate” series, author, gospel minister, counsellor and journalist Ladi Ayodeji has identified important principles that intending and married couples should consider if they desire a stable and God-centred home.

In Part Two of the series, Ayodeji divides his message into three areas: prayers for couples, ten basic things to avoid in marriage, and biblical teachings concerning husbands, wives, children and the wider household.

A. PRAYERS FOR COUPLES
Ayodeji begins with prayers for people seeking marriage partners and couples facing difficulties.
He prays that God will guide single men and women to make wise choices in a world where appearances can sometimes be deceptive.
“Lord, I ask that you guide men and women reading this sermon in their choice of marriage partners so that their choices would be according to your will for their lives, in Jesus' name. Amen.”
His prayers also extend to newly married couples learning to cope with differences involving finances, work, worship, affection and other responsibilities.

He asks God to give them patience and wisdom to resolve disagreements peacefully.
For couples facing health challenges, Ayodeji prays for healing and strength. He also intercedes for marriages threatened by infidelity, asking God to restore faithfulness and loyalty between partners.

“Father, help those battling infidelity in marriage and loyalty during courtship to remain faithful to their partners and retrace their wandering steps back to fidelity, in Jesus' name.”

B. 10 THINGS TO AVOID BEFORE MARRIAGE
Ayodeji argues that many marital crises begin with decisions made before the wedding. He therefore offers ten warnings for those considering marriage.

1. Don't marry until you are prepared.
Marriage requires emotional, physical, material, financial and spiritual preparation. Prospective couples should understand the responsibilities they are accepting before making the commitment.

2. Don't ignore compatibility of faith.
From his Christian perspective, Ayodeji advises believers to choose partners who share their faith and spiritual convictions. Differences over fundamental beliefs, he warns, can become major sources of conflict.

3. Don't neglect courtship.
Courtship provides an opportunity to understand a prospective partner's character, beliefs, attitudes, values and expectations. Marriage, he says, should not be entered blindly.

4. Don't marry only because of physical beauty.
Beauty and physical attraction have their place, but appearances change with age. Character and enduring values should therefore carry greater weight.

5. Don't disregard family counsel.
Ayodeji encourages prospective couples to involve trusted parents, guardians or mature family members rather than isolating themselves completely from wise counsel
.
6. Don't marry someone who does not genuinely love you.
Love, commitment and mutual interest are essential foundations. A relationship in which one person consistently demonstrates indifference should be examined carefully.
7. Don't ignore laziness and irresponsibility.
Marriage requires work. Both partners should be willing to contribute responsibly to the wellbeing of the household.
8. Don't marry primarily for money.
Financial stability matters, but wealth should not become the foundation of choosing a spouse. Money can disappear, while character remains important throughout the marriage.
9. Don't marry because of pressure.
Friends, relatives and society may ask questions about when someone intends to marry, but Ayodeji warns that such pressure should never determine such an important decision.
10. Don't marry for temporary benefits.
A visa, job, promotion, sexual gratification, escape from boredom or other short-term advantages are poor foundations for marriage. When the temporary benefit disappears, the relationship may lose the very reason it was formed.
The underlying message is clear: marriage should be entered intentionally, prayerfully and responsibly.
C. WHAT DOES THE BIBLE TEACH ABOUT MARRIAGE?
Ayodeji turns to Ephesians 5:22–33 to discuss the responsibilities of husbands and wives.
Central to his message is Ephesians 5:25:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
According to Ayodeji, a husband is therefore called to demonstrate sacrificial love toward his wife—not merely through words, but through his conduct, care and commitment.
He pairs this with Ephesians 5:22, which calls wives to submission. In his interpretation, love and submission should not become weapons for domination or conflict; rather, they should contribute to harmony in a Christian marriage.
Ephesians 5 also describes husband and wife as one flesh. Ayodeji argues that hurting one's spouse ultimately damages the unity of the marriage itself.
CHILDREN ALSO HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES
The sermon then moves beyond husband and wife to the relationship between parents and children.
Quoting Ephesians 6:2–3, Ayodeji reminds children:
“Honour thy father and mother... that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”
He cautions parents against drawing their children into marital disagreements or encouraging them to disrespect the other parent.
At the same time, biblical responsibility does not rest solely upon children.
Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers:
“Provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
Ayodeji stresses that the way children are raised helps shape their values, attitudes and behaviour in adulthood.
Parents therefore have an enormous responsibility to provide discipline, instruction, love and good examples.
MANAGING THE ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD
Ayodeji also draws attention to Ephesians 6:5–9, which in its historical context addresses servants and masters.
For today's household, he uses the passage to encourage fairness, respect and responsible treatment in relationships involving domestic workers and those under one's authority.
He warns that poorly managed household relationships can become sources of tension within otherwise peaceful homes.
MARRIAGE REQUIRES KNOWLEDGE
The central lesson of Part Two is that successful marriage does not happen automatically.
Choosing wisely is important. So are prayer, preparation, love, respect, fidelity, financial responsibility, parenting and knowledge of God's Word.
Marriage will inevitably face challenges, but Ayodeji believes many conflicts can be reduced when couples understand their responsibilities and approach their relationship with maturity.
The Counting the Cost — Marriage Estate series continues next week with further examination of the issues that influence marital relationships.
To be continued...
Ladi Ayodeji
Author | Minister of the Gospel | Counsellor | Journalist
WhatsApp only: 09059243004

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