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VENO NEWS: OPINION: The Illusion Known as Expectation
Date: 19-10-24

In Africa, particularly in Nigeria where I was born, we are imbued with an expectant nature from our tender ages. Parents tend to plant seeds of expectation in their children right from birth, causing them to develop and carry this sense of entitlement most times, unknowingly.
This subconscious belief, makes us to feel that we deserve certain treatments or favors from people around us. Though some might argue against this notion, because nature decided to favor them, the reality, however, is that the seed remains active, and is always ready to sprout with the slightest encouragement. This explains why it’s common to see friends and family members feeling disappointed when someone they know fails to meet their expectations or neglects their bond.
Expectations often lead to disappointment when they aren't met because we fail to be realistic when dissecting it. We tend to forget that humans, by nature, don't always act rationally. There’s an inherent element of irrationality in everyone, sometimes due to conscious decisions, other times, due to unconscious impulses driven by personal pressures and struggles. Despite this, we are quick to judge others when they fall short of the standards we set or those imposed by society. We easily forget that we ourselves can falter in our behavior.
It’s crucial to accept that acts of kindness may not always be reciprocated. Those you care about might not return the affection or support to the extent you anticipate. They might not even give a hoot about you. Nevertheless, the principle of attraction suggests that continuous goodness will eventually bring positivity into your life, even if it doesn’t come directly from those you’ve helped or your immediate family. We shouldn't just involve in doing good simply because we have our eyes on immediate results. This is not in any way good

People have their own struggles, perspectives, and priorities, which often differ from yours. Expecting them to act or respond in a particular way can set you up for disappointment. Instead, acknowledge that everyone operates from their own reality. Understanding and accepting this can significantly reduce frustration and resentment.

In the journalism jungle, just as I was fortunate to receive help at a critical point in my career, I have also made it a duty to assist those who cross my path. While some who helped me placed unnecessary demands on me, I have aimed to be more considerate with those I have supported in our 'pension less' profession. For avoidance of doubt, this should be confirmed by anyone who has felt my guiding hand in their career.
Due to our upbringing, it's easy to feel let down when our expectations aren't met. However, understanding that your 'guy' might be dealing with his own challenges can help prevent disappointment. The truth is, life is unpredictable, and so are human behaviors. By lowering our expectations, or better yet, having none at all, we free ourselves from the chains of disappointment. This doesn't mean we should stop being kind or helpful; rather, we should do so without anticipating reciprocation. This shift in mindset can lead to greater personal peace and healthier relationships.

Accepting that not everyone will meet our expectations allows us to embrace people as they are, with all their imperfections. This doesn't mean tolerating harmful behavior but recognizing that everyone has their own struggles and shortcomings. Moreover, this approach fosters resilience. When we're not constantly disappointed by unmet expectations, we're better equipped to handle life's challenges with grace and strength. We learn to adapt and find satisfaction within ourselves rather than relying on external validation.

In essence, the path to happiness lies in letting go of rigid expectations. It's about finding joy in the act of giving, understanding that kindness has its own reward, independent of others' reactions. By embracing this perspective, we can lead a more content and liberated life, free from the unnecessary burdens of unfulfilled expectations.

This is still Kunle Rasheed reporting live from his inner mind
Inspired by Ayobami Adedeji
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